Saturday, July 15, 2006

Healing

It was in another place, far from the one we would normally call "our world" that it happened.

I had asked you not to act surprised when I told you I had lost her, but you still acted surprised. But, the shock never really reached your eyes, which is probably why you kept them directed away from me when you reacted. It was a painful experience for me. You knew that. You also saw it coming, but showing me that you did might make you seem smug and you knew I didn't need smug at that moment. So, you let me lead you through the alien walkways so we could see the sights of this new world.

As the days passed, you weaned out the details from me, patiently and gently. You never forced anything out. You simply waited until I was ready. You stayed with me in the bars of this foreign land, smiling softly as I spoke, sympathizing as I mourned, and diverting my attentions with your own stories whenever I needed a rest. You never went as far as licking my wounds and taking my side. On the contrary, you tried to help me understand her. Learning to forgive is much better than learning to hate, was what you said as we ate in that quaint little restaurant near our hotel. It seemed as if you knew everything that I needed. You listened and learned about me and you soothed my pain. Despite the time it took, despite the rumors it provoked, despite the risks that you had to take. We were experiencing a new world that we entered as friends: me as a heartbroken man and you as a skittish but curious child.

As I explore the shops with you, it comes to mind that I never realized before how comforting you could be. You're always so naive and lost on normal days that I never imagined me sitting here with you, seeking your protection from the pain she had caused me.

Now, as I watch you stirring your drink idly with your straw, I notice for the first time the little things I had not given much thought of before. This whole new place that we are in scares you as much as it fascinates you. I was opening doors for you that you didn't want opened. But you went through all that for me.

But then, as always, you knew the end of things. This was one world we could never bring with us home.

And suddenly, all the wounds open once more.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home